Here Comes the Rainbow!
After every storm comes a rainbow! Well, she is beginning to show her beautiful face! I have had a few rough days….Was able to sleep with the lights out last night, but the workers woke me up at 2:30am in the morning! The landlords had let me know the workers would be here late and not to be alarmed….It was really strange though b/c I went to sleep around 10pm and heard nothing. Then, at 2:30am I was suddenly awakened to them banging and clanging and yelling. Needless to say it ruffled my feathers a bit and I didn’t get back to sleep! I called my landlords and they came upstairs and had the workers stop. Told me they had told me they would be here working – which they did – but I never fathomed they’d be here that late at night….No worries though – just stayed up and meditated for a bit over all this….
All of my friends and family have been so wonderful through all this and I am truly grateful for having you all in my life. Without you guys I simply wouldn’t be the person I am – I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy this amazing journey nearly as much! Thank you all for being such amazing people! And guys, don’t worry one second over kooks who have commented on this blog – those people have their own issues and you nor I need waste any of our time concerning over their thoughts. I am only sorry that other peoples deranged thoughts have become bothersome to the people I care about – just remember guys that opinions are like assholes….everyone has one!
So, my practice today was a bit stiff to say the least and my focus is still way off – but it I’ve learned so much recently about many things – and like everything else, this too will pass and I’ll be able to enjoy my practice and my life that much more!
I spent hours on the phone with Kwang yesterday and he did his best to talk me into coming home ASAP. He made some really good points and even tried to bribe me 
said he’ll go visit my family with me if I come home early as we will have enough time before Christmas to travel to two different states and see everyone! He’s such a good salesman – could sell glasses to a blind man! He was so insistent he had the flights pulled up online and told me he was gonna buy the ticket right then….I explained to him that I wanted a night to sleep on the idea – I don’t want to leave India early b/c of the events of recent – just don’t want to leave on that note…Told him I want to think about all the pros and cons to staying and to leaving…And so I did think long and hard about everything….
-If I stay these last three weeks I’ll have to deal with workers here at the apartment, which is really bothersome at this point. Never would have moved in here if I knew the entire building wouldn’t be complete. And all the reasons I wanted to move here are things still pending and won’t be finished till after I leave India – washer and dryer, privacy, quiet, etc….
- If I stay I’ll get to spend the last three weeks studying with Guruji – but Kwang says I’ve already spent six months with him – he was so cute: “isn’t that enough for this year Krista? You will be back next year!”
- If I go home early I’ll get to spend my birthday with my family and friends.
- … I’ll get to visit both sisters and mom over the holidays.
- … I’ll have more time to get my life organized a bit before I make my way north to visit the family
- … Have more time to get over jet lag before doing more traveling.
Needless to say I soon realized that Kwang was right (although I do hate hate hate to admit that There are way more reasons to leave a few weeks early than to stay here in India. The only reason to stay is a uber good one as it’s what brought me here in the first place – but I have spent half the year with Guruji already and two weeks is nothing. And I am dying to get home and try to re-establish my life in America after all this time away. For goodness sake my belongings are in storage and I have a PO box collecting my mail. Some of my things are with one friend and others with another…Hum, got a lot to do when I get home and I need to factor in zee jet lag, and so much more…
Ok, so all this was running through my head during practice – making it nearly impossible to focus. I came home and looked online and of course all flights are uber expensive right now….So I wondered if I could possibly change the booking I already have to an earlier departure date but pay the same fare? Well I needed to find out! So, I showered up, waited for my landlords to arrive to speak to them – and took care of emails and what not in the meantime. When the got here around 11:30am I let them know I would be leaving sooner than I had originally planned and they showed a great deal of concern – they apologized profusely about the workers this morning…I tried to explain to them that it was not about that event – it was not about them at all. They told me a few days ago that they would feel even more horrible if I left early or left the building – to please not go and they would make things comfortable here for me. And they have really gone way outta their way for me – but its not about them or this whole situation right now. It’s about the fact that things happen for a reason – and while I’m yet to figure out all the reasons I do know that its time for me to go home! But I couldn’t help feeling really really bad when they seemed so distraught about me wanting to leave early. And on top of that I let them know I didn’t want to take this apartment for the year. While I sort of feel that should be obvious after all this – they didn’t and that was another blow to them. And you know the more I look at things I must say I feel like they have lost so much more than me as a result of this unfortunate event. They feel that it is their fault this happened – and to a degree it is – but there is no use blaming anyone anymore – shit happens in life! I just can’t imagine what I would have done in their shoes or how I would feel over this….At any rate I told them not to worry, I’d be back next year!
That done I got in the rickshaw and Girish dropped me off at the bus station. Lucky day for me that the bus pulled away about two minutes after I got on – usually have to wait a good twenty to thirty minutes – and when you have a three hour trip with no potty break every second seems to slowly creep by. But I am getting better with these bus trips – just made sure not to drink anything the whole way there – and yeah I was a bit parched when I arrived in Bangalore and still had to pee to boot – it wasn’t as bad as other trips have been. And when I got to Bangalore I got a rickshaw and headed to Air India’s office. The whole way there I was hoping for the best as the flights I looked at were as much as $400 more than the one I’d already booked. Got there and didn’t have to wait long at all and they made my day when they told me I could leave on Sunday morning at 4am and pay the same fare as my previously booked flight! YEAH!!!! Hum, everything happens for a reason….That done I made my way right back to the bus station – and again the bus left about two minutes after I got on….That just doesn’t happen man – last time Girish and I had to wait nearly an hour for the bus back to Mysore! And I was surprised at how pleasant the ride back was for me. I started thinking about what I needed to do now that I WAS, I AM leaving so soon….The only real sad thing is that tomorrow is my very last practice with Guruji till next year ;( So, on that note I need to get my butt in bed – its getting really late!
Love you all so much – miss you – and I will see you very soon!
Om shanti,
Krista